Bet You Can't Make Me Cum?

Two young couples found themselves sitting on their patio, sipping wine after a light dinner and chatting about nothing in particular.  They were somehow right in the middle of one of those conversations that started off totally innocuous but then, inexplicably, had taken a turn for the taboo. The conversation had drifted so slowly off the rails that none of them could quite remember exactly how a discussion about politics had someone evolved into Jared and Connor's surprisingly kinky sex life.

"So, you're telling me you don't find it hot?"  Jared said goading his boyfriend to give the expected response.

"No, I actually don't,"  Connor retorted chuckling uncomfortably as he sipped his pinot noir. 

Jared and Connor were both in their early thirties and had been married for just over a year, though they'd been dating since high school.  They were at a cursory glance totally vanilla, unassuming gentleman wearing khakis and sweater vests with their shirt collars poking through who usually discussed current events and social issues with a whiff of liberal elitism.  Which is why Connor was especially embarrassed by the blue turn this conversation was taking.

"Come on, Connor.  You know you blow your load like a volcano whenever I do it to you,"

Connor's face flushed red with embarrassment as Jared and the other couple - Zelda and Greg - laughed.  Like Connor and Jared, Zelda and Greg were a newly married couple in their thirties, literally card-carrying conservatives who prided themselves on how assimilated they were in their middle class neighborhood.  At first blush hardly the type of people who would be joking and laughing with two gay men about their sex lives.

"Jared, I really don't think..."

"Come on, Connor, lighten up!"  Greg said patting his friend on the back.

Connor had known Greg the longest out of the group but even that familiarity wasn't enough to lessen his embarrassment.

"We all have secrets," 

Greg gave Connor a playful wink as he pecked his wife on the cheek.  Zelda smiled broadly as she turned to Jared.

"So what, exactly, is it that you do to Connor again? I was too busy laughing the first time to actually hear the details,"

Zelda gave a clearly annoyed Connor a genuinely playful smile, but his facial expression didn't change as he downed the rest of his wine and stood up abruptly.

"If you'll excuse me, I'm heading in for a refill."

"But Connor there's wine right here,"  Greg said motioning for the nearly full bottle sitting on the table.

"I want something white," he snapped.

"But not vanilla!" his husband shouted behind him as the patio door shut.

All three friends laughed hysterically, more at Connor's overly sensitive reaction than anything else. When they'd settled back down, Jared continued.

"Well, I first noticed it a couple years ago, whenever I would play with his balls he'd get hard as a rock,"  

Jared knocked on the metal table to emphasize the effect.

"Then one day, just for shits and giggles, I gave 'em a squeeze and he damn near drowned me on the spot.  Come to find out my loving, butter-wouldn't-melt-in-his-mouth husband is quite kinky..."

"Really?"  Greg asked in legitimate astonishment.

Jared nodded yes.

"And let me tell you, ever since he's opened up about his love of having his balls, how should I say, manhandled, the sex is so..."

Jared looked up as if struggling to find the right words.

"... it's so fucking hot! Just hot! Amazing!  He's a little animal and let me tell you, the money shots are volcanic!  It's like I'm literally squeezing it out which, by the way, is a lot hotter than I ever thought it would be."

Zelda giggled as she took a sip of her wine but Greg looked genuinely puzzled.  He held his wine glass aloft like a pointer as he contemplated what Jared had just said.

"So let me get this straight, you bust his balls and he gets off?"

Jared gave Greg a coy smile "No, I wouldn't say 'bust his balls'. That sounds non-consensual and violent. I love Connor, I only do what he wants and what he wants is..."

Jared abruptly cut off his sentence and the three turned to the patio door.  Connor was holding his full wine glass in one hand and a partially empty bottle of white wine in the other.  Jared frowned.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"What were you guys talking about?" Connor asked as he sat back down, purposefully ignoring his husband out of irritation.

"Actually, Jared was just telling us how in love with you he was.  It was sweet. " Zelda replied, smiling at herself that she wasn't technically lying. 

Jared leaned in to give Connor a kiss on the cheek and Connor rolled his eyes but the feeling of his husband's soft lips on his skin quickly undid most - but not all - of his earlier annoyance.  The two couples sat sipping wine and enjoying the breeze for a few minutes before, quite abruptly, Greg blurted out a question.

"So do you actually get your rocks off having your balls squeezed?"

Connor looked so mortified with embarrassment that Zelda couldn't help but erupt into laughter, her hand catching most of the spray of wine that had escaped her mouth.  Jared, who had been lazily rubbing Connor's thigh tightened his grip slightly as if holding him in place, afraid that Connor was going to self righteously excuse himself and kill the evening.  Greg, for his part, seemed unfazed by the social Pandora's box he had just opened.

Connor sat in stunned silence for a few moments and Jared was about to launch into an apology when something unexpected happened.  Connor laughed.  The mood lightened instantly as the slightly tipsy Connor took another gulp of wine, spilling some on his sweater.

"Actually, yes. Yes I do."

Connor reached down and took the hand Jared had been using to stroke his thigh and placed it over his crotch.  Now Jared was the one blushing in embarrassment has he felt his husband's large nuts and fat cock through his slacks feeling his heart race.  If Zelda and Greg weren't there Jared would have gone down on Connor right then and there. 

"I love you, babe!"  

Jared gave Connor's bulge a playful squeeze before giving him a short but passionate open-mouth kiss.  Zelda was smiling and soaking in the scene - what a perfect evening, she nearly thought aloud.  Greg, however, was much more conflicted.  How on Earth could a guy actually enjoy having his nuts cracked?  Apparently his confusion was visible on his face...

"What's wrong, Greg? You look confused?"  Connor asked.

"It's just... I mean I don't... I guess I don't understand how that works,"

"How what works?" Jared asked.

"Well, I know for me getting hit in the balls hurts like Hell. I took a fastball to the junk at the company cricket match last year and the last thing on my mind was getting my rocks off," Greg explained.

"Well, there's a difference between slow, consensual play and being hit with a ball," Jared laughed.

Greg still looked confused, his own balls aching in sympathy pain just from the description.

"I mean how hard do you..."

"Pretty hard, actually.  Sometimes he kicks them," Connor laughed taking another swig of wine before refilling his cup.

"No! I would never kick 'em, babe.  I do knee them though,"  

Jared gave his clearly tipsy husband another peck on the cheek.  Despite the vanilla suburban setting Jared was starting to get excited about what was going to happen when he and Connor got home, but he quickly adjusted his collar and sat upright in his chair.  After all, this was a polite dinner. 

Zelda, who had just been watching the three men and sipping her wine, finally chimed in.

"I do have a question. Is it the hitting itself that gets you off or... I guess I am still a little unclear of the mechanics of it all."

Connor looked on with glassed over eyes as Jared detailed exactly what it was Connor enjoyed.  He liked to have his large balls squeezed with increasing intensity, and then tugged whilst being squeezed, yanked until he squealed.  He liked when he and Jared were kissing and Jared would raise his knee, starting off by just bouncing his nuts and going harder and harder until Connor was crying but unable to scream because Jared's tongue was in his mouth.  Connor would fall into Jared as Jared's blows grew harder and harder, feeling as close in their embrace as he'd ever felt with anyone.  After all, Jared was both the comforter and the tormentor.  Jared for his part had unlocked a hidden dominant side that got his cock raging long before they made it into the bedroom.  All of this was foreplay but occasionally Jared would squeeze Connor's nuts just right and Connor would spew just from the feeling.  Jared had gotten it down to a near science, being able to tell exactly when Connor was about to cum based on his breathing, his twitching cock and his eyes rolled to the back of his head and Jared knew exactly when to pull his husband from the brink.  Though he admitted he often kept going, eager to lap up Connor's explosive load.

Greg subconsciously crossed his legs as he listened but Zelda looked on with an almost academic curiosity.

"That's actually really interesting," Zelda began.

"Why were you so embarrassed, Connor?"

Connor shrugged. He had been rubbing Jared's thigh the entire time, looking on with affection.  Then it dawned on him, he actually couldn't answer Zelda's question.

"You know what, I don't know.  I guess because it's weird?" 

Zelda shrugged as she drank her wine, pouring herself another glass.

"And? Who is anyone to judge?  No one is being forced to do anything and it's clearly a good thing for your relationship. I think it's sweet and if a few eggs get scrambled along the way, so be it."

Everyone laughed.

"You know what, cheers to that! When we were in high school, you two walking down the street holding hands was considered weird, so you know what I say? Fuck normal!" 

Greg rose his glass and everyone toasted.  Greg kissed Zelda and Jared kissed Connor.

"Like I said, Connor, everyone has secrets." Greg winked playfully, if not a little suggestively at Connor as he spoke.

"And what exactly are your secrets, Greg?"  

Connor gave his old friend a shit face grin.

"I'm actually pretty vanilla, I guess. Definitely wouldn't get off having my berries juiced,"  

"Are you sure?" Zelda asked asked giving Greg a wink.

Greg shook his head 'no' so fervently that his long brown hair looked like a mop.  

"Are you mental?  Just the though..."

Suddenly Jared extended his leg under the table and placed his loafer-clad foot on Greg's crotch.  Everyone had been friends long enough for something like that, especially considering the context, to not raise any eyebrows but Greg's hands raced for his crotch as if he literally feared for his balls.

"What's wrong, Greg? Afraid you might actually like it?"

Greg looked as Jared with a mix of fear and annoyance as Jared started slowly pressing his foot into Greg's crotch.  Greg was nice looking but, being straight, wasn't at all Jared's type but Greg's big balls, the dual lumps of which were obvious under his foot, were admittedly hot.  Greg shifted in his chair and Jared sensing Greg's growing discomfort promptly removed his foot.  He considered Greg to be one of his closest friends, straight or otherwise, and wasn't willing to let a bit of harmless fun make things awkward.  However...

"Why don't you give it a try, Zelda?"  Jared said tipping his wine glass at her.

"Honey?" Greg looked mildly horrified as Zelda nodded in agreement, her pretty face curled into a smile.

Before Greg knew what was happening, Zelda had reached into Greg's lap and clasped his balls through his slacks.  Greg's balls were bigger than even Jared had imagined and Zelda's petite hand stretched to cover both of them.

"Honey, what are you... oh!"

Zelda gave Greg's sack a squeeze, pressing as hard as she could.

"Fuck!"  

Greg screamed and grabbed the table prompting Zelda to instantly let go.

"I think I did it wrong," she laughed.

"Yeah, too hard to start, probably." Connor agreed.

"Agreed. You don't want to pop anything. I mean, maybe one day..."  Jared's eyes met his husband's as his sentence trailed off.  Connor's face lit up with a smile.

Pop?  Greg grimaced just at the mention of the word.

"You all are too freaky for me, I guess.  That would never, ever, ever get me off."  

Greg exaggeratedly nursed his balls with one hand as he drank wine with the other.

 "Freaky? That isn't polite," Zelda said taking on a sanctified tone though her face made it clear she was being sarcastic.

Greg sighed.

"Connor. Jared. I love you both, you know that. I didn't mean any offense."

Jared and Connor toasted each other and laughed.

"Did you hear that, Connor? A straight guy just admitted he was in love with us,"

"I didn't mean 'in love' I meant..."

Everyone, especially Zelda, laughed at Greg's exasperation.  Greg just ignored them by finding the bottom of his wine glass before filling it anew.

"So how would you recommend I begin?"  Zelda asked Jared with utmost seriousness.

"Well..." Jared began before being silenced by Greg who was shaking his head.

"Nope. It isn't going to happen. I am not going to get off having my nuts cracked. Not happening."

Jared, Connor and Zelda all leaned in.

"Oh yeah? You want to put money on that?"  Jared said with a coy smile. 

Greg was taken aback but before he could protest Zelda was digging in her purse and Connor was pulling out his wallet.

"I've got twenty quid on that!"   Connor said, dropping a twenty pound note on the table, Queen Elizabeth smiling back coyly. 

"And I've got fifty!" Zelda declared, proudly dropping fifty pounds on the table.

Greg started to protest,  "Hey now, just a minute I..." 

"Count me in, too!"  Jared said placing more bills on the table.

Greg laughed, too caught up in the fun moment he was having with his wife and his two best friends to be annoyed.

"Fine!"  Greg said faking a stern voice as he pulled out his wallet, "I'll put down one-hundred quid..." 

Greg emptied some loose change out of his pocket which landed with a clang on the growing pile.

"... and sixty pence!  So if I win, which I will, I get all your cash but if you all win..."

"Connor keeps the cash!"  Jared declared.

"After all, it was my beautiful, amazing husband that led us down this path."  

Jared and Connor looked at each other as Jared stroked Connor's shoulder.  Zelda's heart melted and she clasped her hands together as if watching a romantic comedy and even Greg smiled sincerely at the adorable couple.

"Fine!" Greg said standing, his feet shoulder width apart. 

He ran a hand through his neatly-styled hair before placing both clasped hands behind his back.  Zelda stood up in front of him and Jared and Connor looked on as if watching live heterosexual porn. 

"So, Zelda, the first thing you want to do is reach in there and cup them, don't squeeze yet,"

Zelda nodded and reached into Greg's pants, taking one of his jumbo-egg sized nuts in each hand.  Greg shuddered in pleasure as the cold metal of her wedding ring brushed against his sack.  Zelda held Greg's balls in her hands, rolling them slowly as she waited for further instruction.

"So, first thing you want to do is give them a very, very, gentle squeeze,"  Jared instructed. 

Zelda nodded and gave her husband's gonads a barely perceptible squeeze, alternating between the left and the right.  Greg stood, arms still behind his back, turned on by having his big balls in Zelda's hands but not really feeling especially horny.  After a few minutes Zelda turned to Jared frowning.

"This isn't doing anything,"

Jared nodded, "Well start increasing the pressure, and roll his balls in your hands like dice."

"Make sure you do it slowly!"  Connor chimed in.

Jared and Connor never considered their best friend in any sexual way but it was hard not to admire Greg's body as he was having his ample nuts worked in his slacks.  Zelda seemed quite focused on her task, increasing the squeezing pressure slowly, her eyes darting between Greg's crotch and his eyes.  After a few moments she started lightly pressing her thumbs toward her palm as if checking the ripeness of an avocado being sure to listen and watch her husband's reaction.  If he grimaced, she would let up, if he moaned she'd continue.  Eventually she was squeezing and rolling his nuts quite hard but it had been so gradual Greg was more focused on pleasure than pain. 

Greg meanwhile had his eyes closed and was breathing slowly, surprisingly turned on as Zelda - at Connor's instruction - began tugging downward.  Greg winced and his eyes shot open briefly and Zelda adjusted her tactic.  Listening to Connor and Jared's direction she alternated between gently pulling Greg's balls downward and quickly yanking them forward.  

"Don't stop squeezing,"  Greg said breathlessly.

Zelda, in concentrating on the latest tactic of yanking and tugging had let up on her squeezing duties.  It took her a few minutes to get the rhythm just right and avoid squeezing, yanking or tugging too hard, all while watching her husband for every subtle hint that he was enjoying what she was doing.  The biggest, and far from subtle, hint was Greg's long, thick cock which was pointing straight up, constrained by his slacks and being held in place by his waistband.  The outline of his mushroom head could be clearly made out as it rested against the underside of his shirt.

"Too bad he tucked in his shirt,"  Connor laughed only half joking.

Zelda chuckled and briefly lost her concentration, Greg winced as her left thumb dug into his nut.  She kept up her routine until a small wet patch started to form on Greg's shirt.  

"Oops, sorry!"  

Greg, who had been lost in pleasure, suddenly became aware that he was starting to leak precum in front of his best friends.  He gave Jared and Connor a sheepish glance before closing his eyes and getting right back into the vibe. Zelda kept it up for a bit before, at Connor's suggestion, she withdrew her hands from Greg's slack but before he had even realized what was happening she rose her knee, catching both of his beefy baby makers full force.  

"Oh!" Greg yelled but obediently kept his hands behind his back.

Zelda kneed him again and again then immediately returned to squeezing and tugging only this time slightly harder.  Greg moaned and his cock lurched under his shirt.

"Oh... oh fuck... yeah..."  

Greg was lost in ecstasy as if all the sexual energy in his body had gone to his nuts and it was all being expertly massaged by his beautiful wife.  Jared and Connor couldn't help but get turned on and it was all they could do not to rub their own throbbing dicks. 

"Now squeeze the left one really hard,"

Zelda obeyed and Greg gasped, then the left, then she alternated squeezing one and tugging the other or yanking one and tugging the other, increasingly hard only stopping if Greg winced though the reprieves were becoming shorter and shorter.

"Quick, knee him again," 

Zelda kneed Greg's nuts gently yet rapidly, bouncing them on her knee.  Greg's cock twitched as she increased the pressure until, right when her kicks were starting to hurt, she quickly resumed her yanking and squeezing regiment. 

"Oh.. yeah..."  

Greg placed her hands on Zelda's shoulders as his knees started to buckle under the assault.  The petite woman was putting everything she had into the task and inside Greg's slacks his usually pale white nuts were starting to turn a rosy red.  He gently pulled her closer and leaned in, taking in the scent of her hair as he felt his load starting to boil over.

"Oh... oh fuck!" 

"This is it! Crack his nuts!" Connor laughed.

Zelda smiled as she pulled out one hand, formed a fist and plowed it into the large bulge in Greg's pants.  She punched him full force and squeezed as Greg nearly collapsed on top of her moaning, a large wet sheen appearing on his shirt.  His wife continued to wreck his busy nuts as his load shot up, coating his pecs and stomach creating an increasingly large stain on his shirt.  Finally, his breath still ragged, Greg tapped his wife on the shoulder in an impromptu signal that he was ready to stop.

As Zelda withdrew her cum-covered hands, wiping them on Greg's slacks for good measure, the spent Greg turned toward Jared and Connor.  Jared gasped in genuine amazement at the sheer size of the gooey stain on the front of his friend's shirt, the fabric was absolutely saturated with cum.

"Wow, looks like we win the bet!"  Connor joked.

"Yeah, you could say that..." Greg, suddenly awash with embarrassment and self awareness said, crossing his arms over his shirt as if that would hide the massive stain.

"Let's get you cleaned up,"  Zelda said clutching Greg's nuts through his pants and giving them a squeeze.  Greg gasped in pleasure.

"Well it is getting late, we can see ourselves out." 

Connor and Jared stood up to leave, giving Zelda the customary peck on the cheek.  When they turned to Greg his arms were still crossed over his chest.

"No hug?" Connor joked.

Greg shook his head no.

"Too bad!"

Jared opened his arms as if about to give Greg a big hug, which was usual for them when they parted ways.  Greg begrudgingly opened his arms and the two embraced, Greg's face cringing as if he was grossed out by the sticky pool that was being spread around his chest.  

"Take care,"  Jared shouted as he and his husband left the garden.

Greg... little does he know his whole world is about to change ;) 

The story continues in part two here.