The Tube

A throwback story from 2010! It was originally written for Alex's blog. Enjoy!

“Local website seeking guys into creative ball busting…” I had stumbled across the internet ad back in November whilst aimlessly browsing the postings on the campus bulletin board’s ‘Everything Else’ section. As I expected, I didn’t hear anything back for weeks which turned to months. By the time the spring semester was underway I’d forgotten all about the ball busting ad. That’s why I was more than a little surprised when I got a call from a guy named Alex inviting me to join the BallBustingBoys.org team.

I was stunned, and a bit dubious. He apologized for the long delay (apparently my email had been lost in the ‘crush’ of responses, pun intended) and gave me the details for a meet and greet with his camera man Chad to get acquainted with the studio. Alex, unfortunately was off to bust nuts in Europe so I wouldn’t be getting chance to meet him face to face just yet.

However my upcoming visit to the studio left me with one problem, since so much time had passed since I first responded, I’d lost interest in my side hobby of building nut crushing machines (which, sadly, were never tested…) and my most promising design, The Tube, had gone unfinished. But, not wanting to disappoint my future viewers, it took me less than a few hours to turn The Tube’s blue prints into a working model. Now all I needed was something to test it out on.

“So what, exactly is this thing?” Conrad, my roommate asked, complete bewilderment apparent in his deep voice.

I gave him a wry smile and answered in a matter-of-fact tone “It makes peanut butter,”

Conrad and I stood in the middle of our relatively small fraternity bedroom. A plastic chair, long-ago stolen from one of the classroom buildings, sat in the space between the room’s two twin beds. The floor around it had been completely cleared of the piles of dirty laundry, beer cans and other staples of a messy fraternity bedroom. A transparent pipe five feet long and about as big around as an orange protruded straight up from the center of the chair, supported by an elaborate base consisting of particle board and duct tape. Cut into the base of the pipe was a half-moon shaped hole, like the mouse holes in cartoons, in which some kind of small item could be inserted. Along the length of the tube, I had drilled four sets of holes, one hole on each side, with the last just a few inches above the chair.

I watched as Conrad’s hulking figure circled the odd, but not particularly complex looking contraption several times before asking again “So, what does it do?”

I laughed and gave Conrad a playful slap on the bum “Come on, Conny. I thought you were an engineering major. Anyway, have you seen my balls?”

"What?”

Conrad’s gaze had wandered to my crotch.

“Not those balls, idiot, I meant those heavy metal ones we made off with from Science Hall during the Greek Week Scavenger Hunt…”

Conrad just shrugged, obviously not realizing how important the seemingly random objects were to my experiment. I sifted through the piles of miscellanea around the common areas of the room. Finally I pulled two metal balls, each slightly smaller than a softball, out of a drawer where they had been buried by laundry. At one point, one of them had been painted to resemble a tiny Earth from a science display, but most of the paint had pealed long ago in some untold fraternity antic.

How fitting, I thought, a world crushing someone’s world. Conrad eyed me with a mix of bemusement and suspicion as I unceremoniously dropped one of the heavy metal balls down the pipe where it hit the plastic chair with a resounding thud and enough force to cause the pipe to topple from its precarious foundation.

“Like I said, peanut butter.”

Conrad scratched his head and had barely parted his lips to ask another question when I interrupted him, excitedly holding up four pencil-thick wooden dowels I had painted a sleek jet black.

Conrad looked on as I plucked the metal ball from the hole in the bottom of the tube, and inserted the dowels in the holes which had been drilled into the pipe. They were long enough to go completely through the tube and still have an inch sticking out at each end. I’m sure Conrad noticed, but was perhaps a bit confused by the growing bulge in my sweatpants.

“Watch.”

Once again I dropped the metal ball down the tube. The first dowel shattered when the heavy orb struck it, as did the second and the third. The ball barely slowed down as it turned the sticks into splinters, which is why Conrad was confused when, suddenly, the ball came to a full stop inches above the chair. The fourth dowel, ostensibly made of the same material as the other three, had cracked slightly, but showed no signs of further breakage under the weight of the heavy metal ball. It was now resting atop the final dowel, just inches from the chair seat where it had ended its first journey down the tube.

“Oh, so the first three slowed it down, right?”

“Not exactly, no.” I pulled the cracked dowel from the tube, allowing the ball to finish the short trip to the chair. “I cut the first three rods completely in half with a hacksaw, then glued them back together with cheap paste. Then painted them all so you couldn’t see the seam.”

“Ahh,” Conrad’s eyes lit up, his brain starting to piece together the enigmatic description of the device “So, there was no way those first three would have stopped it anyway. Clever.”

“Yup, and watch this…” 

I had slid a walnut into the oval shaped hole at the end of the tube. I dropped the ball through the tube and this time, with no dowels to obstruct it, it came crashing down onto the nut.

The ball made contact with the nut’s top shell, the meat, the bottom shell and the chair seat in that order, ending with a sickening thud. Conrad put a hand over his crotch. “But wouldn’t that be walnut butter?”

I snickered.

“Now, let’s make this interesting,” I placed two walnuts side by side in the base of the tube and re-inserted four new dowels into the holes.

“Let’s pretend that these two walnuts are your family jewels and there’s only one little stick stopping this metal ball from smashing any future Conrad Juniors,”

Conrad grimaced; “So which one is the good one?” he gestured at the ends of the dowels protruding from the tube, “they all look exactly the same.”

“That’s the game! I’m gonna ask you three questions. Each time you get a question wrong, you have to pull out a dowel. At the end of the questions, I let the ball drop and you hope you haven’t pulled out the ‘good one’.” I laughed as the hunky Conrad continued to unconsciously cup his now bulging crotch.

I couldn’t resist the opening his spread leg stance presented, and gave Conrad’s nuts a playful squeeze “Calm down, Conny. Or do you wanna’ test this out on your real walnuts?”

Conrad gulped and my cock sprang to attention when I felt Conrad’s dick twitch excitedly at the suggestion. “You really want to put little Conrad Junior on the line?”

To my surprise, Conrad’s cock twitched again.

“Okay, have it your way.”

I guided my hulking football player roommate by a firm grip on his package toward his desk, and gestured that he take a seat. Conrad promptly pulled off his fraternity sweatshirt and was working on pulling off his pants as I, unnoticed, had started clearing a spot in font of his chair.

Obviously, Conrad had very different intentions about this than I did.

“What’s up?” he asked genuinely confused, his thick eight inch cock now at full attention above this sagging nut sack.

“Oh? Did you think I was joking? I felt how excited you got when I suggested I test my game out on you.”

After clearing enough room, I placed the chair holding up the tube so that it was touching Conrad’s chair.

“Sit at the edge," I instructed.

Conrad looked down in a mild panic. What he thought was going to be just another hot rendezvous was quickly turning into something different. I have to admit I was almost horny enough – not to mention he looked blazingly hot in his spread leg position - to take him up on it, but the advancement of science needed to come first.

Not being particularly ginger, I stretched Conrad’s sack until the two meaty orbs inside, each the size of a small egg, were bulging obscenely at the end and proceeded to stuff them into the hole at the bottom of the tube where they made tempting targets in my twisted game. In this position, the tube was less than a few inches from Conrad’s body and – for obvious reason – was the focus of his attention.

“Now Conrad, we have to make sure the plyer can't try to pull out at the last second so…”

There as a metallic snapping sound. While Conrad was preoccupied contemplating the danger his manhood was in, I’d gone around the back of this chair and had snapped handcuffs around his wrist, trapping him to the chair. Snap. Now his legs were immobilized

“I knew my girlfriend’s kinky side would come in handy one day,” I nearly laughed.

“Don’t worry, they’re trick cuffs. Totally harmless. Oh… wait, you don’t know the trick, do you?”

I’m sure Conrad would have glared at me if the pipe weren’t occupying the bulk of this field of vision. Several moments passed in near silence with the exception of Conrad’s heavy breathing.

“Okay, I’ll ask three questions. You get one wrong, you tell me which plug to pull. Plug number one is the one at the top, plug number two is the next one down, and so on. Got it?”

Conrad nodded.

“Conrad, I really do like playing with them, I hope they don’t end up like that walnut.” 

He grimaced as the image of the once round walnut being crushed replayed in this mind; only the walnut was replaced with his own nuts. Oddly enough, that image made his cock twitch excitedly.

“So, let the game begin,” I started, holding up a balled fist like a microphone and feigning the exaggerated tone of a cheesy game show host 

“Question one. What is the capital of Ecuador?”

“Are you serious? Um, is it Lima?”

“Wrong! Lima is the capital on Peru."

Conrad put his head down “Three.”

“What?”

“Peg three, take out peg three.”

“Ah, right” I yanked out the peg, “Hope this isn’t the one that would’ve stopped your nuts from being cracked. Actually they’d probably end up getting crushed.”

Conrad’s cock twitched and swelled at this egging on, which I took great pleasure in seeing.

“Question two. What year was our fraternity, founded?”

Conrad gave me a wild eyed look of panic from behind the tube “Dude, I don’t remember… 1899?”

I put my head down in exaggerated surprise.

“Oh come on! Really? It’s on that big fraternity seal in the foyer. The one you pass every day. It was 1889.”

“Peg four.” Conrad’s attempts at casual response were defeated by his now shaking, but still booming, voice.

“Okay, last question. And for your nuts’ sake I hope you get this right. On the show Gilligan’s Island, before they got stranded, how long was the boat tour supposed to last?”

“Really, dude? I dunno’, a couple of days?”

I playfully whistled a few bars from the show’s theme.

 “Conrad, you’re just striking out today. Remember the theme song? They were on a ‘three hour tour.’… ha! Well, pick a number.”

I was now laughing outright at my twitching and sweating roommate.

“Two, take out the second one.”

I, complied and, just like that, only one dowel was separating Conrad’s testicles from the heavy metal ball that would be plummeting down the tube in mere moments. Although I already knew which of the dowels was the right one, and thus already knew the results of the final ball drop, I had been extremely careful not to tip Conrad off lest he spoil the surprise.

“Well, Conny. Did you save little Conrad Junior?”

Conrad gulped as I held the nut crushing ball over the opening of the tube, my free hand openly rubbing the crotch of my pants. The site of the helpless, hunky frat jock sitting naked with his balls in such a predicament was too much for me to hide my excitement.

“Okay, let’s see if we’re going to make Conrad’s-nut-butter!” 

Without ceremony I released his grip on the ball. Conrad had a front row seat to the ball’s descent, my hand disappeared into my jeans as what happened next seemed to happen in slow motion.

“FUCK!” 

Conrad screamed in near hysterics as he watched the metal ball pass effortlessly through the only dowel in the tube. He now tried frantically to pull away from my macabre contraption, but his muscles were no use for the trick handcuffs for which he didn’t know the trick. Conrad’s eyes, now fixed on the two meaty orbs stuffed into the tube closed in anticipation of the coming blow.

After what seemed to Conrad to be an eternity, there was a sickening thud. The ball landed quite hard, flattening both of Conrad’s once plump nuts. It had come down with so much force that they had compressed to a dangerously-flat quarter of an inch before the ball finally came to rest. They slowly began to pop back into their original shapes, although now both were a blazing red and slightly swollen.

I watched the twin beefy orbs I had sucked tenderly on many occasions getting compressed flatter and flatter. For a brief moment I actually feared the ball would make contact with the seat of the chair, shattering Conrad’s dreams of having a family. Like I said, it had never been tested and ‘Earth’ had turned out to be heavier than I thought.

Conrad let out a guttural, low howl at the assault, thrashing violently. Tears were starting to run down the handsome jock’s face.

“Please, please let me go,”

I paused for a moment, briefly contemplating if I should honor his request but decided against it just yet. I produced the second equally heavy ball and gave him a wicked smile. Conrad began thrashing hysterically and the cuffs around his ankles broke from the stress.

“Not yet, Conny. I told you your kids are on the line. Let’s see if we can’t finish ‘em off.”

“No, no!”

“Well someone seems to like it!” I laughed pointing to Conrad’s cock, which was now leaking precum.

Conrad, looking slightly embarrassed under his face of contorted pain, looked down just long enough to see his leaking cock, his eyes distracted from the top of the tube as I released the second ball.

It hit the first ball with a metallic clunk, driving it deeper into Conrad’s fleshy sack. Conrad’s cock exploded and jet after jet of cum splattered the side of the tube and his torso. One shot had even landed on his chin. He let out a high pitched wail of pain as his thrashing finally broke the cuffs around his wrists. He took his now free hands, grabbed the tube and hurled it across the room. The resilient plastic tubing just bounced slightly and came to rest undamaged. He plucked off the two metal balls and cupped his two now swollen and red orbs, rocking back and forth with a whimper.

I laughed a deep, almost sadistic laugh for a few moments at the sight. I was surprised at how two metal balls and a tube had turned this manly stud into a whimpering pile of jelly so quickly.

“You okay?” I asked, my chuckling probably masked my genuine concern.

Conrad weakly nodded ‘yes’ before going back to rocking, his broad chest still glistening with cum. The sight of my muscled roommate soaked in cum and clutching his balls got me incredibly horny and ironically disappointed that Conrad was in no condition to ‘help out’. I ran a hand tenderly through his hair and whispered softly “Thanks for testing it, Conny.”

The experiment had been a success, I concluded as I headed out of the room to retrieve a bag of ice from the kitchen.

“Though perhaps I should’ve used a heavier ball,” I thought aloud as Conrad’s whimpers disappeared behind the door.